Despite of this knowing, ironically- we still like to ditch ourselves inside the thought patterns that do us no good and the game reflects our inner state immediately.
For the purpose of recognition and awareness of such inner processes,here is a list of 5 unhelpful thinking styles that ruin our days on the greens.
Usual inner dialogues are:
"Either I do it right or I don't do it at all."
"I will enjoy only if I score well."
"If my swing is not perfect I have failed."
It's a kind of "all or none" thinking and we try so hard to do it right & perfect.Only if we do well are we happy.The danger in this style of thinking lies in high expectations about our performance and golf easily destroys them,because the outcome most of the time doesn't suits our picture.What usually happens is that we get too analytical,we perform very good on the range and poor on the course.
2. Emotional reasoning
"I feel embarrassed so I must be an idiot and this game is not for me."
" I feel incompetent and not being good enough to play this game."
It's when we make conclusions about ourselves and others according to the way we feel. This kind of thinking is especially dangerous in younger players because they can develop wrong sense of self worth and the feeling of not belonging.Very easily we get caught in the illusion that we are what we shoot. We forget that what we tell ourselves is not necessary true and that we are our worst enemy.
3. Disqualifying the positive
"That doesn't count!"
"Yes, but......"
It's a kind of thinking where we don't appreciate the good stuff we make. It's very common thing that in a post-round conversations we like to talk about mistakes and failures only. And the more we focus on negative stories we keep telling ourselves, more we repeat them.
Today, it's very rare to see somebody on the range who gives himself a credit for a good shot. It's a sign that we take ourselves and golf too seriously.
4. Jumping to conclusions/ Over-generalising
"It never works out for me."
"I never make it under pressure."
"I always start / finish badly."
With this kind of thinking we predict the future according to past experiences. Our mind keeps jumping ahead and it is difficult for us to focus on the shot in front of us. Actually we decide in advance how our game will take place and then we take it for granted.Subconsciously we prove ourselves that we are right!
5. Should/must thinking
"I should have made that putt."
" I must make a par here."
"The group ahead should play faster."
" I mustn't miss this shot."
Using such words can make us feel guilty and that we have allready failed. If we apply such language to other people the result is often frustration. What we think it should happen doesn't match with what happens in reality and what life offers usually isn't what we want.It seems that the only recipe to overcome this type of thinking is to practice acceptance and humility.